So I changed the title.

I feel like it was time. Or something. And that more accurately reflects my life at the moment. Or maybe it should be running sweating and breathing heavy. But, that doesn't quite roll off the tongue as well.

I've been following a few blogs that are solely about running. One is a woman who lives in my town that is training for a marathon. She seems like me, about 2 years in the future. She wanted to run a half marathon to prove to herself she could do it. She ran a few, and now wants to tackle a marathon. I'm not sure I'll get there, but I did say I was never running again after my first 5K. So, who knows.

I'm somewhat sad I missed the marathon trials for the olympics that were on the other day. I catch myself watching runners on tv, and reading about them in the newspaper. All to gain something, anything, that will help me.

At the Y, the running coach posted an article about helpful running tips. They were from a guy who runs 100 mile races. He suggests buying good reflective great and a headlamp for running in the dark. And putting screws in your shoes for running on ice. Um... yeah. Not really the advice I wanted. I kind of want to know do I need to down a bottle of gatorade after every run or is water enough? Or perhaps, do I need fancy running socks, or do my cotton specials do the trick?

My running partner and I bought some fancy new running pants at Target the other day. Because they were on sale of course! I'm afraid as I run, the seams will rip, and I will be frozen as I stand there wondering what part of me do I cover up first? One of the things in that crazy article was about compression, and does it really work to help runners. Your parts aren't jiggling so much, so the blood flow is quicker, helping you maintain your speed or some such nonsense. These pants sure do compress my legs, so we'll see. The best part - is they are size large. Just as is everything else i buy these days. At the concert Jeff and I went to in December, I bought a tshirt at it. A size large. And it fit perfectly. I was too happy. The guy who sold it to us probably thought I had a mental disorder.

So, I'm solidly in 4 mile runs now. I've done 3. I plotted a new route at the Y, so I'm not running the same old road. Well, I am, just in an different order.

I tried to potty train E this week - to horrible failure. I want her to be ready, but she just isn't. So, I bought another box of diapers, and as soon as they are gone - about 1.5 months- I'll try again. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom floor trying to get her to pee. She was just not having any of it. She had no cues. And I know that is the real thing. She will be in a wet diaper all day. Until she cares, she's not going to care to go potty. Even if full size reeses peanut butter cups are her reward.

I made a photo book for Jeff of his grandfather that passed away back in October. I put in it pics of the kids with his grandfather, and of us with him. Some of the pics of me, truly make me shake my head. Was I really that heavy? Were my arms really that big? Did my face look like a tomato? It's just amazing to see the transformation in just 16 months.

I was talking to someone about what sparked this transformation - and why I run. I basically had one answer - I run because I shouldn't be able to. I almost cry every time I get done with a run. Seriously. Because I shouldn't be able to do it. Today my knees are killing me. The last thing I want to do is go run tomorrow. It's supposed to be cold and windy - AGAIN! But I do it. Because I look at the pictures of me in that book, and of what I looked like 16 months ago, and I never want to look like that again.

Never.